Chapter 30: Lu Zhan’s “Secret”

Although Zhou Susu and this man lived under the same roof and even had a "cooperation agreement," they were terrifyingly like strangers to each other. Everything she knew about Lu Zhan was limited to: "Lu Zhan, male, twenty-seven years old, active-duty officer, An'an’s guardian." As for his family, his past, his likes and dislikes... she knew nothing. And he, it seemed, had never once thought of telling her voluntarily. Between them, it truly felt as though they were merely "contractual spouses." Thinking of this, a sense of loss inexplicably arose in Zhou Susu’s heart.

The dinner atmosphere was somewhat stifling. Lu Zhan was clearly affected by that letter, preoccupied and heavy-hearted; he nearly fed rice into his own nose several times while eating. Watching his distracted state, Zhou Susu wanted to speak up several times, but the words died on her lips. She didn't know if it was appropriate to ask about his family. After the meal, Lu Zhan took the initiative to clear the dishes. Zhou Susu took An'an to wash up and read her a bedtime story. When she finally walked out of the room after coaxing An'an to sleep, she saw Lu Zhan sitting alone on a small wooden stool in the courtyard.

There was no lamp lit before him. He was enveloped in the cold, clear moonlight, his silhouette appearing somewhat lonely. A cigarette was clamped between his fingers, its crimson ember flickering in the darkness. Zhou Susu hesitated for a moment before fetching a thick coat from inside and walking out. "It's chilly at night; don't catch a cold." She gently draped the coat over his shoulders.

Lu Zhan’s body visibly stiffened. He turned his head, looking at Zhou Susu, whose features appeared exceptionally gentle under the moonlight, his expression complex. "Thank you," he said, stubbing out his cigarette, his voice slightly hoarse. Zhou Susu sat on a small stool beside him. After a moment of silence, she finally couldn't help but speak. She asked in a tone that was as casual as possible, as if they were just chatting: "Have you not been home for a long time?"

Lu Zhan did not expect her to ask this. He was stunned for a moment, then nodded. "Nearly three years."

Three years... Zhou Susu’s heart skipped a beat. For a man to stay away from home for three years, there had to be a story there. "Is your home... in the capital?" she probed. Lu Zhan nodded again, remaining silent.

The courtyard fell into silence, save for the tireless chirping of insects in the autumn night. Watching his taut profile and those eyes that seemed particularly deep in the moonlight, Zhou Susu felt as if she had never truly understood this man. She had always assumed he was just an ordinary "phoenix man" who had tested into a military academy from the countryside and climbed his way up step by step. She never imagined he was actually from the capital. To be able to settle down in the capital during the eighties, his family background certainly couldn't be poor. So why did he run off to such a remote border unit? And why hadn't he gone home in three years? Countless questions swirled in her mind. She knew these were his "private affairs." According to their "cooperation," she shouldn't pry. But... seeing his lonely, distant demeanor, a sense of pity welled up in her heart. Driven by an impulse, she asked the question she shouldn't have.

"Can you... tell me about your family?"

As soon as she asked, she regretted it. Was she being too gossipy? Too intrusive? Indeed. Lu Zhan’s body stiffened the moment he heard the question. He turned to look at her intently. Emotions surged in those dark, heavy eyes—surprise, struggle, and a hint of reluctance. Zhou Susu felt uncomfortable under his gaze and was just about to say, "Never mind, forget I asked," when she heard his hoarse, low voice slowly resonate in the quiet night.

"My family..." He paused, as if organizing his thoughts or making a decision. Finally, he spoke slowly. "The situation... is a bit complicated."

Zhou Susu watched him quietly without rushing him. She knew this man was finally ready to open up to her, even if just a little. And this process was clearly not easy for him. Indeed, Lu Zhan remained silent for a long time—so long that Zhou Susu thought he might change his mind—before he lit another cigarette, took a deep drag, and spoke slowly through the curling smoke. "My family is indeed in the capital." His tone was very flat, as if he were telling a story that had nothing to do with him.

"My father's name is Lu Zhenguo." Zhou Susu searched her mind for the name; it was very ordinary, and she had no impression of it. "He was also in the military," Lu Zhan continued after a pause. "Before he retired, he was a division commander in the Beijing Military Region."

Zhou Susu: "..." She swayed, nearly falling off her stool. A... a division commander?! In this day and age, what did that mean? That was a bona fide bigwig; if he stomped his foot, the entire region would tremble! So, this husband of hers in name wasn't some "phoenix man," but a blue-blooded "military second generation"? Good heavens, had she gotten the script backward?

"My mother's name is Lin Wanyi," Lu Zhan continued, seemingly unaware of her shock, still using that flat, emotionless tone. "She used to be in the General Political Department's Song and Dance Troupe, singing opera."

Zhou Susu: "..." She felt as if her brain was about to short-circuit. A father who was a regional military leader and a mother who was an artist? Wasn't this the eighties version of a "top-tier elite family"? She looked at the man before her, wearing a faded old military uniform and exuding the aura of a "rough man," and then thought of his "high-class" family background; it felt incredibly incongruous. The contrast was just too stark!

"Then you," Zhou Susu finally found her voice and asked cautiously, "how did you end up here?" Logically, with such an impressive background, shouldn't he have stayed in the capital with a bright future ahead of him? How did he end up in this godforsaken border unit to suffer?

Mentioning this, Lu Zhan’s eyes dimmed. He took a vicious drag of his cigarette, threw the butt on the ground, and ground it out with his toe. "Because of... an arranged marriage." He squeezed the words out through his teeth.

Zhou Susu understood instantly. Well, it really was the standard plot of a wealthy family drama. "My father, as you can probably guess, is an old stick-in-the-mud," Lu Zhan said with a touch of self-mockery. "He felt that since I was of age, I should marry someone of equal status and then follow the path he had laid out for me, climbing up step by step."

"The match he arranged for me was the granddaughter of one of his old comrades, also someone who grew up in the military compounds. I’ve met her; she’s delicate and fragile, and she speaks like a mosquito humming. I really couldn't stand it."

"So you ran away?" Zhou Susu prompted.