Chapter Four: Xiao Ming, Get Out-Superstar King(Nian Nu Jiao)

“Elder Guo, you’re too polite. Come on, tell us a joke and liven up the atmosphere.”

“Yes, yes, things got a bit heavy just now. We need to enjoy life to the fullest—let’s get the mood up again.”

“Let’s bring it up!”

“Yeah, let’s go!”

…

Although only a fraction of the thousands of fans were active, the chat scrolled rapidly, all demanding that Su Tong tell jokes and stories.

It had to be said, Su Tong’s singing was average, but his talent for performance was impressive—he was a natural storyteller, skilled at delivering jokes and tales. To truly deliver a good joke or story, one needed not just words, but also expressions and gestures.

“Haha, well, no more preamble. Now I’m going to tell a few jokes,” Su Tong said with a mysterious smile. “This is a series of jokes—most of you probably haven’t heard them. If you’re easily amused, protect your screens, and please, no eating during the joke segment!”

Everyone was surprised. In this age of information and advanced networks, how many jokes could there be that people hadn’t heard yet?

Most of the jokes Su Tong had told before were already widely known—people liked hearing them again for the nostalgia, and because Su Tong’s delivery was spot-on.

“This series centers on two main characters: a teacher, and Xiao Ming. I’ll tell a few tonight, and then a brand-new medium-length story.” Su Tong had already planned out the evening’s stream. The first act was originally supposed to be Xiao Yu singing a song he’d given her, but because of the unexpected appearance of Divine Guardian’s fans, they’d switched to her singing “Flower Basket,” a song from Divine Guardian.

Su Tong had searched online and found nothing about the “Xiao Ming, get out!” joke series. Not only that, but this world was missing so many classic resources from the previous one.

This discovery made Su Tong ecstatic—reincarnation really was a blessing, though the early days would be tough, as his current… inconvenience clearly showed.

Sweetness after hardship—Su Tong could bear it.

“Ah, first, let me clarify: the teacher is female, and Xiao Ming, of course, is a boy,” Su Tong said, not launching directly into the joke.

Most streams lasted several hours; it was impossible for a host to go full throttle from start to finish. Who could keep that up for hours? The art was in pacing, in banter.

“Hurry up, Elder Guo! We’re pals, but if you can’t make me laugh, I swear, I’ll—well, you’ll regret it!”

“Come on, I want the lady teacher!”

“Here it comes, the prince tells the story of the little rascal and the mature teacher.”

“Front row—whips, candles, handcuffs for sale…”

The fans were at it again.

Su Tong sweated a little. Stories about young boys and mature teachers—who came up with this stuff? Still, the “Xiao Ming, get out!” series did revolve around a mischievous boy and his mature teacher.

He cleared his throat and, dropping the chatter, put on a stern teacherly expression. His voice shifted, becoming more mature and feminine: “Xiao Ming, your homework is getting worse and worse. What’s going on?”

That was obviously the teacher speaking. The audience smiled knowingly—Su Tong’s act was hilarious, both his voice and expressions making people want to laugh.

“Huh? I’ve really never heard this one.”

“Haha, I’m curious. What happens next?”

“I’m determined not to laugh.”

The viewers kept their eyes on Su Tong, listening intently.

“Teacher, let me look for the reason. I’ll tell you this afternoon, okay?” Su Tong’s voice changed again, this time sounding young and innocent—a clear portrayal of little Xiao Ming.

Chuckles rippled through the audience. This guy could really change his voice. If a stranger heard those two voices separately, they’d never guess they came from the same person.

Soon, Su Tong’s voice returned to normal, narrating as himself: “That afternoon, the teacher called Xiao Ming outside the classroom again.”

Xiao Ming: “Teacher, I found out. My grandpa says the homework is getting harder and he can’t do it either.”

Pffft—

…

Who knows how many people, on the other side of their screens, burst out laughing uncontrollably, and how many monitors suffered the consequences.

“Damn, what a twist! Grandpa’s been doing the homework for his grandson. Oh man, I can’t take it—this is hilarious.”

“Crap, I didn’t listen and was drinking water—now there’s water and snot coming out of my nose!”

“Oh my god, it’s really the first time I’ve heard this joke. Absolutely brilliant—Xiao Ming and his grandpa, no words needed.”

…

Lines of “Haagen-Dazs” emojis flooded the screen—nothing beats a good laugh. Then came the fans’ barrage of playful jibes and banter.

Xiao Yu was quick-witted and immediately got the joke, bursting into giggles.

Little Xiaoxiao, still young and not following along, didn’t care much. But seeing Su Tong so happy, she tugged at his sleeve and pleaded, “Brother, grilled fish—Xiaoxiao wants grilled fish.”

The little one was still thinking about last night’s grilled fish.

“We can’t talk about grilled fish during the show, okay?” Su Tong was exasperated. Children’s minds really did wander everywhere—there was no controlling them. “Your sister just sang and is thirsty—go pour her a glass of water.”

Though unhappy, Xiaoxiao was obedient and climbed off her stool to fetch water for Xiao Yu.

“What’s this about grilled fish, Elder Guo? Explain yourself.”

“Elder Guo, it’s not good for little Qiao to eat too much barbecue; don’t let her have it too often.”

“We’ve never heard little Qiao ask for grilled fish before—what’s going on? Elder Guo, tell us more.”

Many fans loved hearing about their family life, eager for stories about the three siblings, especially anything involving Xiao Yu and Xiaoxiao.

Left with no choice, Su Tong chatted about family matters for a bit, recapping last night’s events, then returned to the Xiao Ming jokes.

[Teacher: Xiao Ming, in one sentence, show me your frustration when you can’t find someone.

Xiao Ming: Damn it, where the hell are you?

Teacher: Mind your manners.

Xiao Ming: Tortoise, where art thou?

Teacher: Get out!]

…

“Haha, that’s hilarious.”

“Xiao Ming, get out! Haha.”

“I think I’m falling in love with Xiao Ming.”

…

[Xiao Ming: Teacher, I like you.

Teacher: I don’t like children.

Xiao Ming: I don’t like kids either. We don’t have to have any.

Teacher: Get out!]

After Su Tong finished several Xiao Ming jokes, his fans were in stitches, many declaring they couldn’t take it anymore.

He cleared his throat, a charming, confident smile on his face. “Next up is Da Qiao’s performance. She’s going to sing a new song. What kind of song? I believe it will be a truly beautiful one—a song that belongs entirely to her. After tonight, I’m certain it will spread across the land and, in time, be no less famous than any pop classic. It will be sung for years to come.”

The audience was stunned—Su Tong’s introduction was bold, almost arrogant.

But his eyes shone with confidence. “This song, I’ve waited too long for this day. Tonight, it will burst forth, carrying those living in the steel jungle back to the countryside’s rustic charm, and leading the grown, world-weary back to the golden days of childhood.”