Chapter Seventy-One: A Heart Sunk Like Mud

With her face washed clean and no trace of powder or rouge, Scarlet Silk stood before Yu Lang like a lotus in full bloom.

“Yu Lang, look again. Who does she resemble?”

Things had reached a point where Yu Lang feared that any further evasion would anger Qing Qing and lead to unintended harm to Scarlet Silk. He had no choice but to raise his eyes and look carefully.

She had sword-like brows rather than willow ones, eyes with rounded contours, a mouth slightly larger than those of most women yet perfectly balanced. This girl bore a striking resemblance to Ning Xue—three parts, at least. At this realization, Yu Lang’s heart gave a jolt.

Qing Qing noticed the subtle change in Yu Lang’s expression and let out a laugh, one laced with mockery, bitterness, and consolation. “Does she remind you of Ning Xue, the one you can’t forget? I don’t quite understand the minds of men. How could a brief meeting and a few exchanged words leave you so infatuated? It must be her appearance that captivated you.”

Qing Qing had once overheard the drunken Yang Xu mention that Yu Lang spoke of someone called “Ning Xue” in his sleep. She had seen firsthand Yu Lang’s madness years ago and was convinced that his unwillingness to accept her stemmed from that girl.

For half a month, Qing Qing forced herself to recall Ning Xue’s features, sketching them painstakingly. The process was agony, filling her with disgust. Yet Heaven had mercy; before long, Qing Qing found Scarlet Silk.

“Now, this face stands before you—yours to take, yours to command.”

When a woman offers another to please a man, it is not merely humble—it is descent into the abyss.

“Qing Qing, it’s not what you think—”

“I think nothing. The one who falls into reveries is you. She’s right in front of you now; you need no longer fantasize about windswept romance with Ning Xue. Do as you wish.”

Countless words caught in his throat, Yu Lang’s lips moved but no sound emerged.

Qing Qing’s expression grew taut; she feared tears, feared her resolve would waver. Tonight, she was determined to force Yu Lang to yield.

“Scarlet Silk, remove your clothes,” Qing Qing commanded.

Scarlet Silk broke down in tears. “No, Sister Qing Qing, Scarlet Silk is not—”

“Be good, listen.” The words softened, but the tone was ten times harsher.

Scarlet Silk’s body froze. She slowly began to undo her garments, exposing a swath of gleaming skin to the late autumn air, which quickly raised goosebumps. From that moment, she considered herself a corpse; once the deed was done, her debt to Sister Qing Qing would be repaid.

But Scarlet Silk could not silence the voice within. The venomous words the neighbors used to curse women echoed and magnified in her mind. Her hand, halfway through unfastening her clothes, halted.

Scarlet Silk turned to Qing Qing, bowed gracefully, and offered a smile drenched in sorrow. “Sister Qing Qing, I will repay this kindness in another life.”

Qing Qing inwardly cried out in alarm.

With those words, Scarlet Silk bit down fiercely on her tongue, only to find her teeth unresponsive; her body and half-opened garments were bound by an invisible force, covering her exposed flesh.

That force originated from Yu Lang. Though he had not formed a Dao Seal, his skills at the Profound Understanding realm were undiminished.

Yu Lang knew that any rash reaction would only further wound Scarlet Silk. He smiled gently at her. “Your Sister Qing Qing is simply worried the coals burn too hot in this room, and you might be uncomfortable. She means nothing else.”

He then placed some food into Scarlet Silk’s bowl, handing it to her. “Bear with it and eat with Old Baba outside. He loves snatching food from others’ bowls—hold yours tight, don’t let him steal it.”

Scarlet Silk was amused by Yu Lang’s winking and antics; the urge to die that had consumed her moments before vanished completely.

Yu Lang saw Scarlet Silk to the door, then turned to Qing Qing. “That was a bit much, don’t you think?”

Qing Qing lowered her head. “I’ll go apologize to her soon.” She knew Yu Lang disliked distinguishing between high and low, noble and humble; even if such things were merely what a chambermaid ought to do, she still owed Scarlet Silk an apology.

“Regardless, I will not give in. You must stay in Yangzhou. You must marry me.” Qing Qing’s resolve was as unwavering as ever. Gentle on the outside, steadfast within—once she made up her mind, nothing could sway her.

Yu Lang tapped the porcelain bowl lightly with his chopsticks. “Qing Qing, consider carefully. Do you truly love me?”

Qing Qing was stunned. “What is love? All I know is that after a man and woman spend four years together, they must marry.”

“By your logic, does every girl need to marry her father or brother?”

“That’s different.”

“How is it different? In these four years, have I ever behaved inappropriately toward you?”

“N-no.”

Qing Qing bowed her head. She wasn’t sure if an embrace counted. Each time Yu Lang held her, her whole body softened, her heart raced. She didn’t know if marital intimacy involved anything more than an embrace.

Summoning her courage, Qing Qing met Yu Lang’s eyes. “Then tell me, what is love?”

“Love is, when all a person’s halos are stripped away, you still genuinely cherish every flaw. You become flustered and undone by their every gesture, willing to forsake your own convictions. At the same time, you must be sure that the other will treat you kindly as well. That is love.”

Yu Lang was unwilling to spend his life in Yangzhou for Qing Qing. Qing Qing was unwilling to follow Yu Lang to Chang’an and risk danger. By that standard, neither truly loved the other.

“At our age, we love ourselves more. The love we feel when young is little more than melodrama and self-indulgence. True love needs time and experience to mature.” Reborn twice, Yu Lang’s mental age far exceeded that of Qing Qing, a girl just awakening to romance.

In truth, Yu Lang was unable to answer the question. Life is endless, each generation living less than a century. Knowledge can accumulate, but understanding of love must be found within one’s brief lifetime—it cannot be inherited. Perhaps Yu Dan, who had lived thousands of years, could answer, but he was ever the absent-minded fool.

“Then, I do not love you anymore.” Qing Qing’s smile was radiant, and the tears she had struggled to hold back now flowed freely.

A bamboo added to the fire snapped loudly, as if something else in the room burst open with it.

“Just think of me as an older brother. I’ll look after you always, never let anyone bully you. And when you find someone you adore, I’ll make sure you marry with dignity.”

Saying this, Yu Lang felt deeply selfish. Had Ning Xiaoyu not existed, perhaps he would have married Qing Qing; to have someone willing to accompany you for a lifetime is, in itself, immense fortune.

“Mm.” Qing Qing’s throat was choked, unable to say more.

At the time, it all seemed so ordinary.