038. Head-to-Head Confrontation

Li Xu and Old Li Third exchanged a couple of jokes and entered the tea room. The guards, seeing him leave the Xuan Zhen Temple with Chen Hongzhi and chatting cheerfully, did not question him and allowed him in.

Before the bamboo curtain was lifted, a clear, bell-like laughter rang out.

“Hahaha... Deputy Commander Tu Tu, if you keep teasing me, I’ll have Liu Motong pull your ear—believe it or not?”

“Hah, this old servant doesn’t believe it. Captain Liu is my man in the Left Army. If he dares to pull the whiskers of my Deputy Commander, he’s courting rebellion! Princess, if you don’t believe me, ask him yourself and see if he dares.”

The speaker was a gray-haired man in a purple robe with a jade belt, tall and broad-shouldered, imposing with a horse-like face, prominent nose and mouth, large but dull eyes, and unusually thick eyebrows. This was Tu Tu Chengcui, Grand General of the Left Guard, Deputy Commander of the Left Divine Strategy Army, a powerful eunuch whose influence burned hot in the court.

“Hmph, your Left Army only bullies others. If he won’t do it, I’ll find someone else to pull your ear,” Princess Taihe pouted, annoyed but defiant. Her slender fingers pointed at the approaching Chen Hongzhi: “Lord Chen, you’ve come just in time. Help me pull Deputy Commander Tu Tu’s ear, and I’ll reward you ten strings of coins.”

Chen Hongzhi, startled by this, clutched his throat with his left hand and coughed dryly: “This old servant has caught a wind illness, I fear—cough cough—my strength won’t suffice, cough cough...”

Tu Tu Chengcui burst out laughing and said to Chen Hongzhi: “Ah, Old Chen, look at you! The Princess favors you for nothing; you’re of no use when it matters most.”

Chen Hongzhi replied with a forced smile: “Deputy Commander, it’s not that I won’t try, but the heart is willing and the strength not enough. Cough cough.”

“Hmph, you’re all in league to bully me alone!” Princess Taihe stamped her foot in a fit of anger. Suddenly, her eyes sparkled with a new idea and she giggled: “If none of you dares, I’ll do it myself.”

She hopped over to Tu Tu Chengcui and said, “Bow your head.”

Tu Tu Chengcui chuckled, “Princess, the weather’s changed lately, and the old back pain I got while commanding in Hebei has flared up again—aching at night, numb by day, truly can’t bend down. Forgive me, forgive me.” He then barked at his attendants: “What are you waiting for? Bring a stool for the Princess! Didn’t you hear she wants to pull this old servant’s ear?”

In the tea room, besides palace officials, there were officers from the Left Divine Strategy Army and the county officials of Wannian. At his shout, all fell silent, exchanging glances—none dared move.

Tu Tu Chengcui, deeply favored by the emperor and wielding immense power, was a force in court; prime ministers stepped aside for him, princes paid their respects, those of high rank bowed, and princes of the Li Chun’s generation greeted him as elders. Even King Li Yun privately called him “Grandpa.” Only the young, naive Princess Taihe tangled with him playfully—no one else would dare.

Taihe had been dozing in her chair until Tu Tu Chengcui snuck up behind, yanked her seat, startling her into a display of embarrassment while he laughed uproariously.

Though young, Princess Taihe was not one to suffer losses. Having been teased without cause, she retaliated with playful scorn, giving as good as she got. Tu Tu Chengcui, unable to tolerate being mocked by a mere girl, resolved to teach her a lesson—he was shrewd and saw his chance. Now, how would she extricate herself?

Tu Tu Chengcui was pleased.

Seeing no one in the tea room on her side, Princess Taihe grew more frustrated, and Tu Tu Chengcui’s smug expression made her pout even harder. The lively room quickly chilled.

Cui Yudong, kneeling outside under the eaves in punishment, could hardly endure it. Having been humiliated by female Taoists in the Xuan Zhen Temple and then ignored by the Princess, left kneeling while she bantered with Tu Tu Chengcui, he was on the verge of leaving, held back only by Shi Xiong.

Now, with the Princess insulted, he could bear it no longer. Gritting his teeth and clenching his fists, he strode in, face grim. Shi Xiong tried to pull him back but failed; in desperation, he called out, “Fourth!”

Li Xu, entering the tea room, sensed something was amiss. Cui Yudong knelt as a punished man, Liu Motong stood frozen as if spellbound, Shi Xiong remained outside due to his low rank, and Chen Hongzhi feigned madness to keep his distance. The main actors inside were Tu Tu Chengcui and Princess Taihe.

Li Xu had heard much of Tu Tu Chengcui, but seeing him in person was a revelation—such an old man bantering foolishly with the Princess was quite the spectacle, and Li Xu watched with relish.

Shi Xiong’s cry, however, thrust him from spectator to actor.

Dozens of eyes turned to Li Xu, and Cui Yudong was forgotten. Shi Xiong, seizing the moment, dragged Cui Yudong away.

Li Xu felt obliged to say something, lest he disappoint everyone’s attention. He quickly bowed to Princess Taihe and said, “Princess, do not fret. I shall lend you a helping hand.”

His words drew diverse reactions. Liu Motong, always solemn, shot him a warning glance not to meddle. Chen Hongzhi, previously amused, now frowned as if worried for him. Cui Yudong, dragged out by Shi Xiong, tried to call out but was silenced, leaving with Shi Xiong while all eyes focused on Li Xu.

Cui Yudong, normally gentle and even scholarly, was explosive when roused—capable of causing serious trouble.

Finally, someone stood up for her, and Princess Taihe’s spirits soared. She hopped to Li Xu and asked happily, “How will you help me?”

“Uh, I’m willing to lend this hand to the Princess for a moment,” Li Xu said, extending his right hand with a smile.

Princess Taihe frowned, about to refuse, then caught on. She clapped her hands and exclaimed, “Good, good! I’ll borrow this hand—hand, hand, go pull Deputy Commander Tu Tu’s ear for me!”

---

At this, all were shocked. Liu Motong couldn’t help but shout, “Fourth brother, don’t make trouble!”

Princess Taihe, annoyed, pointed at Liu Motong and ordered, “You, be quiet! Not another word from you.” Liu Motong glanced at Tu Tu Chengcui and dropped his head in resignation.

Chen Hongzhi straightened up, smiling at Li Xu, now fully an onlooker.

Tu Tu Chengcui’s face was dark enough to write couplets with ink, and his nearby officers wore the same expression, their eyes already fierce, hands on sword hilts.

Killing wasn’t difficult; with Tu Tu Chengcui sheltering them, they feared no one.

Li Xu walked up to Tu Tu Chengcui, smiling, just three feet apart. He felt a slight regret—he was a head shorter, but it was enough to reach his ear.

He glanced at that iron-cold face and grinned: “Forgive me, Deputy Commander. The Princess is royalty, the Emperor’s beloved. Pleasing the Princess is a minister’s duty, so I risk life and limb to offend your might, begging your indulgence.”

Tu Tu Chengcui snorted, “You are a loyal subject. Fine, fine—what are you waiting for?”

Li Xu glanced at the two iron-willed guards behind him and joked, “Ha, I’m willing to lend the Princess my hand—has no one lent Deputy Commander an ear? Where’s your filial piety?”

Tu Tu Chengcui’s heart skipped a beat, then he was overjoyed.

Li Xu was reminding him: Princess Taihe might be young and easy to tease, but she was the Emperor’s daughter. Openly humiliating her could be disastrous if word reached the Emperor.

He’d wanted only to teach her a lesson, not to be disrespectful. Now, with his goal achieved, it was wise to give way.

Li Xu was clever, offering a pillow when the old man nodded off—quick-witted, with a future ahead.

Tu Tu Chengcui’s mind worked rapidly and he made his decision.

“Chen Hongzhi!” Tu Tu Chengcui shouted, and before Chen Hongzhi could react, his fan-like hand grabbed the old eunuch’s shoulder and brought him forward, placing him before Li Xu and laughing: “Ha! Lord Chen is righteous—knowing I’ve had ear trouble, he lends me his ears. I’m grateful! Princess, these two ears are yours to twist.”

Tu Tu Chengcui waved his hand grandly. Chen Hongzhi squealed, “Oh, Deputy Commander, you must be mistaken, I—”

Tu Tu Chengcui glared, “What, you want to renege? I hate those who break their word.”

Chen Hongzhi, seeing his anger, quickly smiled, “No, no, I’m delighted to share your burden, Deputy Commander.”

Princess Taihe protested, “No! You’re cheating—who lends their ears?”

Tu Tu Chengcui spread his hands: “But Princess, you’re borrowing a hand.”

“You...” Princess Taihe was speechless, stomped her foot and said, “I’m done! Not fun at all—back to the palace, back to the palace!”

Chen Hongzhi, relieved, cried, “Princess, wait, this old servant will accompany you.” He bowed to Tu Tu Chengcui and hurried after her. Soon, cries echoed from the courtyard: “Oh, Princess, please be gentle!”

“I’ll twist them! Who let you lend your ears?”

“Ow! It hurts, ah...”

...

With Princess Taihe gone, the tea room’s atmosphere grew tense.

Tu Tu Chengcui, despite years serving in the palace, never lost his rough edge. Now, arms crossed, head cocked, he watched Li Xu with a half-smile, making Li Xu nervous. This horse-faced man was a true tough—he’d humiliated a princess in public; what would he do to a minor official? If he landed a punch, it’d be unjust indeed.

Li Xu kept smiling, barely moving, afraid to provoke the bandit before him.

“Well, well—heroes are born young! Yang Zan, good, I’ll remember you.”

Tu Tu Chengcui suddenly rose, tossed out this phrase, strode from the tea room. His guards brought a purple steed, crouched to serve as a mounting block. The mighty Deputy Commander took longer mounting than Li Xu, likely no great rider.

Before leaving, he glanced back at Li Xu, his face brightening. His cheeks quivered, and he even smiled—fortunately, otherwise Li Xu feared he’d lack the strength to go home.

---

A scholar meeting a soldier—reason is useless. This rough old eunuch commanded a hundred thousand Left Divine Strategy Army troops, and not only had Li Xu met him, he’d just dared to pull his ear.

Tu Tu Chengcui left with his guards, a parade of armored soldiers—over a hundred strong—slowly passing through Chongren Ward’s gate.

Suddenly, Li Xu noticed the hand he’d lent Princess Taihe was trembling, then numb, then lost all feeling.

Impulse—impulse is the devil. Truly, it is. He must have been possessed; else, how could he have entertained such absurd thoughts?

To twist the ear of the Grand Commander of the Imperial Guards—he’d nearly had his own head twisted off.

His hand still shook, his heart raced, and Li Xu sought an excuse to justify his actions—not childishness, but rational bravery. He looked at Cui Yudong and inspiration struck: “Enough—he stood up for my wife, I stood up for his. Tit for tat. We’re real brothers.”

Chen Hongzhi, after escorting Princess Taihe back to the Taiji Palace, hurried to the Daming Palace. The Xuan Zhen Temple matter had been handled fairly well, though Tu Tu Chengcui’s interference had stolen some glory, but his contributions still counted.

The Emperor was a rare, virtuous ruler; he wouldn’t forget Chen Hongzhi’s efforts.

When Li Xu reported at Daming Palace, Chen Hongzhi was attending Li Chun’s banquet for the Uighur marriage envoy on Penglai Island. Li Chun knew of the Xuan Zhen affair; reporting after its resolution was a minister’s duty, and since he’d handled it well, he should inform the Emperor.

Chen Hongzhi learned that after Li Chun finished hosting the Uighur envoy, he went to the Xianju Hall to play chess with his favorite consort, Mao. Xianju Hall wasn’t far from the Right Silver Gate; after dismounting, Chen Hongzhi composed himself and walked leisurely over.

He’d been anxious to report on Penglai Island, but since the Emperor was at Xianju Hall, the honor would not be his—Tu Tu Chengcui, the wild donkey, would have beaten him to it. Wild donkeys fear water; though the Taiye Lake was calm, he wouldn’t take a boat, but Xianju Hall had no water, so he’d have finished reporting and gone back to riding. The Uighur envoy had given him a fine horse, which he cherished—eating, drinking, even sleeping with it. Truly, kindred spirits.

Xianju Hall was built beside Taiye Lake, modest in scale but with superb scenery. As Chen Hongzhi entered, he heard Consort Mao’s laughter from within.

He paused, listening—the hall was silent.

He shook his head, muttering, “This Consort Mao... truly a born enchantress.”

Consort Mao entered the palace two years ago, then fourteen years old, with a graceful figure, luminous skin, skilled in song and dance, and understanding. Yet those traits alone couldn’t make her stand out among the beauties; what truly won her favor was her daring.

She showed remarkable courage upon entering the palace. Born of common stock, she was selected and underwent a preliminary screening—palace maids performed for the chief eunuch, who chose those skilled in appearance and dance for the inner music bureau; the rest served as menial laborers. This was important, and everyone did their utmost.

With so many, the screening was by groups of fifty, the chief eunuch judging from a high platform.

When the music began, all sang and danced energetically, overwhelming the eunuch. Many talents were lost.

But Consort Mao took a different approach. As the music began, she sat cross-legged on the ground, unmoving. The chief eunuch spotted her immediately, ordered her out, and scolded her for not dancing. She replied, “If everyone just jumps around, a chaotic mess—how could you tell good from bad?”

The eunuch was amused, allowed her to perform solo. Consort Mao danced beautifully and was selected as top grade for the inner music bureau; the list was sent to the Emperor.

Li Chun, idly browsing the list, noticed the top name was Mao Mao, and joked, “What demon dares sneak into my palace?” He remembered the name.

Later, Li Chun visited the music bureau and saw a talented dancer—asked her name, she replied Mao Mao. Li Chun took note. One day, he summoned her to the Hanliang Hall, inquired about her family, then requested two dances. Consort Mao stood still, alarming the music bureau’s eunuch.

Li Chun asked why she didn’t move. Mao replied, “Your Majesty chose hot dances; in this heat, I fear the warmth.” Li Chun laughed, finding her amusing: “Then perform a cool dance. If you do well, I’ll reward you; if not, I’ll punish you for disrespect.”

Consort Mao agreed cheerfully. After her dance, Li Chun frowned, “It was a mess—worse than a beginner. You dare deceive me? Drag her to the menial court!”

Armored guards entered. Consort Mao remained calm, declaring, “The Emperor is untrustworthy; I protest!”

Li Chun pretended not to hear. Mao continued, “The Emperor is stingy, unwilling to reward, making excuses!”

The eunuchs rolled up their sleeves to punish her, but Consort Mao stood proud, fearless. Li Chun found it amusing, dismissed the attendants, and asked, “How am I untrustworthy? Tell me.”

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