Chapter 103: It's Him Again!

“Master Hou, I can help you with any other matter, but this—using medicine to kill someone—I really dare not do,” said Zhang San, the assistant, staring at the porcelain bottle handed to him by Hou Junji, nearly frightened out of his wits. He knew the eldest young master of the Wu family was at odds with that young master from the Yun family, but he never imagined it had escalated to hiring a killer. Zhang San was brave, but murder was beyond his limits.

This Master Hou was not someone to offend. A rising noble at the Duke Tang’s residence, he enjoyed the favor of the residence’s second master and often accompanied him and the senior heir. For the people of Jinyang, the Duke Tang was like the emperor himself—an authority not to be crossed. No one who wanted to live peacefully would dare antagonize anyone from Duke Tang’s household.

“Rest assured, this medicine is called Plantain Seed. It’s not a deadly poison, but a remedy that heals. The only effect is that it makes you urinate more,” Hou Junji said, pulling out a bag of copper coins and handing it along with the medicine to Zhang San.

Wu Yuanshuang’s mood had been terrible lately. The woman he adored had been forcibly taken from him. Had it been the scion of some wealthy and powerful family, he might have begrudgingly accepted it. But his rival was a mere child, barely grown, which made the humiliation all the harder to swallow. What infuriated him most was that in several confrontations, it was always he who had been defeated.

In his desperation to win back his beloved, Wu Yuanshuang had even dared to offend the world by bribing the Turks to abduct her in marriage. Now he had no home to return to, wandering about like a defeated dog, relying on the charity of fair-weather friends to survive. As their looks grew colder and their flattery ceased, Wu Yuanshuang drank more heavily and, in his drunken haze, followed them to the Lanwan Guildhall.

The courtesan was as attentive as ever, tending to Wu Yuanshuang like a baby, wiping his face and hands. This made him feel somewhat better, allowing him to regain a semblance of the eldest young master’s dignity.

He downed a large sip of grape wine—an exquisite vintage from the Western Regions, not to be wasted lightly. The sharp, sour wine swept over his taste buds, reflecting the bittersweetness of life itself. Everything seemed so perfect, yet in his dizziness, his troublesome companions dragged him into the bathhouse.

That was the only flaw: Wu Yuanshuang found himself again in the very pool where he had been falsely accused of defecating. Looking around furtively, he saw that the others seemed to have forgotten that incident. There were no whistles or gawkers; everything was as ordinary as could be. Only then did he hesitate before stepping into the water.

In the past, as the eldest young master of the Wu family, he would have insisted on a private room. But now, destitute and dependent on others, if they said to soak in the large pool, he had no choice. Without a penny in his pocket, even a hero could be brought low by a single coin.

The warm water immediately enveloped his body, a sensation indescribably pleasant. Warmth was humanity’s sweetest comfort. Being surrounded by water recalled the time in the mother’s womb—perhaps the most carefree moments of a person’s life.

But such carefree moments were brief. Soon, Wu Yuanshuang felt a pressure in his lower abdomen, a sudden urge to urinate that left no time to reach the restroom.

When that hot stream, warmer than the pool water, gushed forth, Wu Yuanshuang was shocked. These days, misfortune plagued him, and his sour mood naturally caused him internal heat. When one’s internal heat flares, urine becomes dark yellow… and so, the eldest young master found a stream of yellow liquid flowing before him.

Terrified, the memory of being falsely accused of defecating in the pool flashed through his mind. To defecate in the pool was scandalous enough; now to urinate in the same pool was utterly shameless. If this spread, he might as well give up on life. Worse, last time he had been framed; this time, caught red-handed, there would be no defense.

Looking around, no one seemed to notice. Wu Yuanshuang quickly swam away, thinking he had made the right choice. Yet things went awry—the length and duration of his urination far exceeded his expectations. As he swam through the pool, a clear yellow line trailed behind him. Even those who hadn’t noticed before now stared in astonishment. If Yun Hao were here, he would instantly think of an airplane’s contrail.

“Someone’s peeing in the pool!” a sharp voice shrieked like a wail. Though thousands had urinated in the pool, only this man’s “contrail” was so conspicuous. The naked men in the pool were alarmed, shrieking as they fled. Who would want to bathe in someone else’s urine?

“That’s him! That’s the one!” an assistant pointed at the disheveled, ghostlike Wu Yuanshuang. The crowd was incensed. How dare he urinate in the pool? If they had to soak in his urine, they’d beat him senseless.

No one dared enter the pool now, as if it had become a cesspool of urine. The crowd shouted angrily from the edge, picking up whatever they could and throwing it in. For a time, Wu Yuanshuang cowered in the pool, covering his head and trying to escape. Some even hurled wooden clogs at him, forcing him to retreat to the center of the pool.

“Damn it! Not long ago someone defecated in this pool, and now someone’s peeing! How am I supposed to enjoy a proper bath? Is this a bathhouse or a latrine?” Wu Yuanshuang hid in the center, hard to catch, but the crowd turned to the innkeeper with their complaints.

“Kill him! If we don’t get his excrement out today, it means he’s never eaten chives!” The innkeeper was losing his mind. The previous defecation incident had already caused him huge losses. Business had just started to pick up when someone came to urinate again. Was this a bathhouse or a place to cause trouble? This year, he was truly cursed, plagued by one disaster after another.

Following the innkeeper’s orders, a group of assistants plunged into the pool despite the urine, beating Wu Yuanshuang mercilessly until he lay lifeless. They then dragged him out like a dead dog.

Wu Yuanshuang’s treacherous friends had vanished long before—anyone in such a predicament would disappear immediately, denying any acquaintance with the man forevermore.

Once pulled out, an assistant peeled back the hair matted to his face. The innkeeper’s eyes widened; this Wu master intended to pick a fight with him.

“Boss, no matter how you look at it, this is the same man who defecated in the pool last time,” one dim-witted assistant asked.

“That’s right, he’s the one who did it last time!” the innkeeper snapped, kicking the fool with irritation.