Chapter Eighty-Eight: Bride Theft

A rough-looking young man stood in the middle of the street, hair disheveled, red-eyed with rage, like a savage wolf. Around him clustered the same gang of idle companions that had always hovered at his side; a rich youth was never short of such friends.

A bridal kidnapping? Yun Hao’s first thought was that the fool had gone mad. By the customs of this age, a man who tried to snatch a bride would deserve every beating he got, even if he were killed on the spot. Had no one seen how eager Marquis Hou and the others already were? Street toughs who made their living in brawls had no reason to fear a pack of useless scholar-types.

“Miss Miaoke, don’t marry him. My Wu family—”

“Get the hell out of here. That’s my wife. Wu Yuanshuang, don’t call every man’s bride your little sister. So what if I’m only eight? So what if I married the woman of your dreams? You damn bastard who takes a dump in bathhouses, who’d ever want to marry you? Hey, let me ask you—are you really still wearing diapers?” When it came to a war of words, there was no need for politeness or turn-taking. The most effective method was to unleash a barrage like a machine gun. Before Wu Yuanshuang could even fire back, Yun Hao had already driven him into a corner. He choked there, face and neck flushed, obviously lacking any training in verbal combat. Try trading insults with me, and I’ll tear you apart like a sieve.

“Hao-ge, you don’t know this yet? The whole neighborhood’s been talking. This fool still wets the bed at seventeen. No wonder the lady won’t marry such a man—he probably still has to go home and drink milk.”

For those who came up from the streets, there was no need to expect anything decent from their mouths. Qi Biao was quick on the uptake, snatching up the opening before it could hit the ground.

“Oh my, oh my! Seventeen and still not weaned. How enviable. Truly enviable!”

Lai Shun’er looked openly envious, and the two of them delivered their lines with seamless precision. They had reached the highest realm of collusion.

The crowd already gathered around them was enormous, and this only set the place boiling over. A few who had been fortunate enough to witness the scene near Lanwan Hall that day immediately turned into live commentators, enlightening the masses with that strange tale of defecating in a bathhouse. Some people looked stunned; others were visibly disgusted. Still others leaned close and whispered, one speaking with great relish, the listener suddenly enlightened. The way they looked at Wu Yuanshuang was as though they were staring at a pile of filth.

“You...! You all!” Wu Yuanshuang was nearly bursting with fury. The people he usually dealt with were refined and proper, speaking in measured tones and never casually interrupting others. When had he ever encountered such street rabble, not even allowing a man to speak?

By now, Wu Yuanshuang had thrown caution to the wind. He shouted, “Ahuinan!”

“They’re here!” Before the words had fully left his mouth, a row of onlookers was shoved to the ground, revealing more than ten stout men behind them, built like iron statues.

These men wore their hair loose and had on sheep-fur coats. Curved sabers hung at their waists, and several had high noses and deep-set eyes. At a glance, they were clearly not men of the Central Plains.

“Turkics!” someone cried out.

Yun Hao froze. So this was the famed nomadic Turkic people.

Everyone retreated at once; it was plain to see that the people of Jinyang feared the Turks greatly. Even the guards sent by Li Er looked tense, their hands gripping the ring pommels at their waists. One wrong move, and they would draw steel and kill.

North of Jinyang lay Turkic territory, and in this late autumn season, Turks often came here to trade horses. No one, however, had expected Wu Yuanshuang to have somehow gotten mixed up with them. Ever since the age of turmoil when the Five Barbarians ravaged China, the hatred of the Han for the non-Han had long been seared into the blood. Everyone’s gaze toward Wu Yuanshuang changed at once, and even some of the idle companions trailing behind him quietly began to step back. Standing up for a friend was one thing; colluding with Turks was another altogether. If this went badly, a father’s rod could easily break one’s legs when he got home.

“Good brother, today I’ll help you snatch your wife back!”

The man called Ahuinan actually spoke excellent Han Chinese, clearly someone accustomed to moving about among the Han. At his words, all four guards drew their ring-pommel sabers in unison. When dealing with Turks, blades were far more useful than tongues. Marquis Hou’s expression hardened, and after glancing at Yun Hao, he slowly stepped in front of him.

“Hao-ge, if things go wrong later, take your wife and leave first. Leave the rest to us brothers.”

Yun Hao was touched. What remained for them to do was nothing more than draw steel and fight to the death. Looking at the dozen or so men across from them, each one like an iron giant, Yun Hao’s side, even counting Li Er’s guards, amounted to only seven men.

“Move aside. Hand over the bride!” Ahuinan pointed toward the wedding party and said arrogantly.

Ever since the chaos of the Five Barbarians, the Turks to the north had grown steadily stronger. After the Sui dynasty was established, the Turks repeatedly raided the frontier. Nearly every time they returned in triumph, laden with plunder and tribute from the Sui. Having tasted the rewards, the Turkic khan would send troops whenever he found even the thinnest excuse. On ordinary days he sought trouble; all the more so now that his people had been attacked by men of the Sui.

Not only Jinyang, but Yunzhong, Longyou, Guannei, and the other northern regions were all plagued by Turkic troubles. Local officials dared not offend the Turks lightly, fearing the khan would use it as a pretext to sweep in and loot them. Thus was born the Turks’ arrogant manner. In Ahuinan’s eyes, if he wanted something, he could simply snatch two Han girls back home at any time. To seize a bride was scarcely worth mentioning.

The four guards from Li Er did not hesitate in the least and stepped forward with their sabers before Yun Hao. Their duty today was to protect Yun Hao at all costs, and so long as it was Li Er’s command, they would obey without question.

“Pah... A pack of wild men from the grasslands dares to bark at me? Go back and ask whether Zhishi Sili, or Ashina himself, would dare speak to me this way. Even if I killed you all, Ashina wouldn’t so much as fart.”

Yun Hao’s tone was even more arrogant than Ahuinan’s.

“You... you know our great chief?” Ahuinan asked in confusion. In truth, he was only a minor trader among the Turks and could scarcely get a glimpse of Ashina, let alone speak with him. For this boy to blurt out the chief’s name without hesitation was enough to make Ahuinan’s heart tighten.

He had been promised two hundred strings of cash for today’s business. But to offend the great chief over two hundred strings of cash would be utterly not worth it.

“What? Don’t believe me? Don’t think that because you rely on force, you can swagger around like something important. You’ve got a dozen men. Here there are tens of thousands of Han. One foot from each of them could crush you into meat paste. Since I have old ties with Ashina, I’ll spare you this once. Get lost!”

With a sweep of his hand, Yun Hao waved them away as though shooing flies.

Ahuinan and the burly men immediately grew tense after hearing Yun Hao’s words. Faced with the hateful gazes of thousands upon thousands of people, they too began to feel a trace of fear. In recent years the Turks had committed too many outrages, and the Han hated them to the bone. The only thing that let them run roughshod through Han lands was the khan’s backing. If the khan did not intervene, then truly, they could be beaten to death for nothing.

The men exchanged glances, already thinking of retreat. Yet leaving like this would be far too humiliating. Just as Ahuinan and the others were hesitating, unsure what to do, a voice rang out:

“He’s lying. He’s trying to fool you!”