Chapter Seventy-One: The Enormous Pit

For someone who has crossed over into the ancient world, the greatest discomfort does not come from the absence of tomatoes, chili peppers, or corn on the cob. Rather, it is the accumulated common sense and customs that have evolved over thousands of years. The concept of a child bride was something Yun Hao had only ever encountered in movies, television, or novels—never did he imagine that after transmigrating, he would actually encounter such a thing in real life. Heaven help me! This is utterly subversive! Such a living, breathing beauty, yet she insists on becoming my wife. Yun Hao silently vowed to the gods above that, should the opportunity arise, he would indulge himself in a grand feast, karaoke, and a sauna in a single night.

“The Wu family wants to propose marriage to my uncle. Our Zhang family is already related to theirs by marriage, and this time it would only strengthen the bond. My father sent me from Longyou to Jinyang precisely so I could meet Wu Yuanshuang and be wed to him. Wu Yuanshuang is, by all accounts, an excellent match—so young and already admitted to the Imperial Academy, a disciple of Master Li Gang, the Prince’s Assistant Tutor. He is a rising star among the younger generation, with a limitless future. Naturally, I was more than willing to accept this match. But ever since we were kidnapped together, I’ve come to realize what kind of person Wu Yuanshuang truly is.

“His personal virtue is lacking, and his mind is narrow, but those are not his greatest faults. His greatest flaw is that he cannot even do evil properly. I was right there in the Zhang family pharmacy, and he had a hundred different ways to handle matters, yet he chose the stupidest approach of all!”

“I don’t think it was so stupid,” Yun Hao argued. “It was just Lei the Tiger who was foolish. Otherwise, I might have been buried alive or strangled long ago.” If it hadn’t been for the utter stupidity of Lei the Tiger and Magpie, and the coincidence that their new recruit was Hou Junji, Yun Hao might already be in the underworld, enduring the mockery of King Qinguang.

“To entrust something to the wrong people isn’t just foolish—it’s criminal. If you wish to commit evil, at least find two capable helpers. He chose Lei the Tiger and Magpie, two blockheads, and you say he’s not stupid? This time he was dealing with someone like you, with no powerful background. What if next time his target is a noble scion? He’d risk his life. Rather than suffer in the Wu family in the future, I’d rather marry you now. Whatever your shortcomings, at least you have a clever mind. Even if I bear your children, I know they won’t have to suffer with you.”

Heavens! Yun Hao was absolutely stupefied. What kind of woman is this? Sister, are you sure you’re not a fox spirit reincarnated? You’re only fifteen, yet you’re shrewder than most fifty-year-olds. Having such a woman for a wife would surely spell a grisly end for me. No—never mind that you look like an enchantress; even if you resembled the fairest beauty, it would still be a disaster!

“You’re planning to go in and tell your mother you don’t want to marry me, aren’t you?” she continued. “Let me make one thing clear: if I marry Wu Yuanshuang, I will recount every detail of what happened at the country house that day. By then, he and I will be husband and wife, sharing not only interests but enemies as well—and you will be that enemy.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Yun Hao. You’ve only just put down roots in Jinyang. The Wu family has been an established clan here for a century. Even with the Duke of Tang’s mansion backing you, how confident are you that you can fend off their schemes? Even if you are remarkably resourceful, what about your mother? Your brothers?

“Let’s be frank: if you’re willing to marry me, I won’t interfere with however many concubines you take. I’ll be your wife, and as husband and wife, unity and mutual support are essential to a good life. I abhor suffering, so I will dedicate myself entirely to helping you. It’s up to you whether you want an ally or an enemy. Besides, though I’m a few years your senior, my looks and family background are certainly respectable. Marrying a boy of uncertain origin and bearing his children—is that such a bad bargain for you?” As Zhang Miaoke finished, she straightened her back in a show of pride. She had clearly taken extra care with her appearance today, her bodice cinched tightly to accentuate her ample figure.

“Gulp!” Yun Hao swallowed hard.

“Big sister, you’re not some emissary sent by the goddess Nüwa, are you…?”

She was too shrewd, calculating every angle and consequence with chilling clarity. Ruthless and decisive, she would marry herself off as soon as she made up her mind. A woman this merciless even to herself was truly terrifying. With such a woman for an enemy, living to old age would be nothing more than a fantasy.

“I’m curious—how did you convince your uncle? Surely he wouldn’t go along with such nonsense? I refuse to believe that Qibiao and Laishun, those two simpletons, could deceive your uncle.” Yun Hao felt certain Zhang Wenzhong was no easy mark. He genuinely wanted to know what role Zhang Wenzhong had played in all this. He had always thought of him as a skilled physician, never imagining he was also a master of cunning—was the entire Zhang family a den of foxes?

“That was simple. I told him all about Wu Yuanshuang’s deeds. Did you really think you could get to my bathing quarters so easily without my uncle’s cooperation? The Zhang family may not be nobility, but we still have maids and housekeepers aplenty.”

Now it all made sense—this was a pit dug jointly by uncle and niece, and a deep one at that. Yun Hao truly felt he had been well and truly ensnared this time. In his previous life of over sixty years, he’d never encountered a trap like this—having a beauty throw herself at him as a wife! He was sorely lacking in relevant experience.

Still reeling, Yun Hao felt Zhang Miaoke slowly draw near, her jade-like arms gently embracing him. Good heavens! Her firm bosom brushed against his face, and he could even catch the faint fragrance of a maiden. In this era, there was no such thing as a brassiere, and today Zhang Miaoke’s garments were especially thin—he could feel her hardened tips through the fabric. Had Yun Hao been a few years older, he might have started bleeding from the nose on the spot.

His hands instinctively wrapped around her slender waist—he was just tall enough for his head to reach her chest. Otherwise, now would have been the perfect moment for a wall-kiss, like in those dramas. The truth was, Yun Hao had been longing for a taste of Zhang Miaoke’s cherry lips for quite some time, having already indulged in the fantasy many times in his dreams.

“Oh my! Just look at these two children—they truly are a perfect match!” A voice rang out behind them—it was Madam Zhao. Yun Hao and Zhang Miaoke sprang apart as if struck by lightning. Zhang Miaoke’s ears turned crimson, as pink as a peach blossom, though a sly gleam flickered in her eyes.

Damn, fooled again! Turning around, Yun Hao saw Madam Zhao and Zhang Wenzhong, both wearing expressions of knowing amusement, as if sharing a secret. Yun Hao was bewildered yet again. “Mother! Let me explain… it’s not what you think… Mother…!”

“I know, I know. I understand everything. You two talk things over; your Uncle Zhang and I will be in the courtyard,” Madam Zhao said with a meaningful glance at Yun Hao.

“Mother… let me explain… Mother!”