Chapter 84: The Art of Tempering the Body

Yun Hao’s mouth fell open in astonishment. He had never imagined that Li Er could hold out for so long; the incense stick used for timing was already more than two-thirds burned away. Though Li Er showed signs of faltering, he was still forcing himself onward.

By then, Li Er could no longer speak. He kept his mouth tightly clamped shut. His face was red as a monkey’s rump; blue veins stood out not only on his neck but on his arms as well. His whole body trembled uncontrollably, and even his features had begun to twist.

“Second Brother! You... are you all right?” Changsun’s eyes were nearly brimming with tears. After all, she was still only a sixteen-year-old girl in the bloom of youth, not yet the empress who would one day embody the grace of the realm.

“Second Master, don’t force yourself! Your whole belly must be shaking by now, isn’t it? This method is a marvelous way to temper the body, and it’s excellent for reducing excess fat around the waist.” Yun Hao watched Li Er with a smile. By now Li Er was not only trembling in the abdomen, but all over. In the crucial moment of holding a plank, he had actually chosen not to breathe deeply to increase the oxygen in his blood, but instead to clamp his mouth shut and endure with sheer stubbornness. The poverty of his scientific understanding was appalling. At this rate, it would be remarkable if Li Er could last another ten seconds.

With a muffled thud, Li Er did not even make it ten more seconds before collapsing flat on the ground like a dead fish. After he rested for quite a while, the scarlet in his face finally faded back to its normal color.

Changsun hurried forward to help him up and, flustered, called for tea and water. At the same time she anxiously inspected the wound on his back; seeing that there was no problem, she finally relaxed.

Li Er took the tea and gulped it down in one go. Perhaps he had drunk too quickly, for a tearing fit of coughing erupted at once.

“After exercise, don’t drink water right away. If your lungs burst, even the immortals won’t be able to save you.” Yun Hao settled himself leisurely into a chair. That spendthrift woman, Zhang Miaoke, had not even married into the family yet and was already handing out the Yun clan’s fine things all over the place. The other day, when he saw Li Yuan, the old fellow had been sitting on a sofa, bouncing constantly with excitement like a child.

The carpenter’s shop beside Zhang’s Pharmacy had already been taken over by Zhang Miaoke, and all the workers were retained at double pay. There were also the blacksmith shop, the paint shop, and more, as if she meant to take over the whole street. In an instant, her image as a benefactress to the masses soared to great heights; wherever she went, people bowed to her in respect. Even Yun Hao, walking down the street, received many smiling faces. Since arriving in this world, this was the first time he had felt truly welcomed from the heart. Being the center of everyone’s attention was a strange and wonderful feeling. At last, Yun Hao understood what it was like to be a celebrity.

“This method of training the body is truly strange. If I hadn’t tried it myself, I would never have believed that I, too, could not even endure the time it takes a stick of incense to burn.” Li Er had practiced archery and horsemanship since childhood; his physical condition was excellent. Yet no matter how he thought about it, he could not understand why simply lying face-down should be so exhausting. Just now, he had really felt every piece of flesh in his body trembling, especially the flesh on his belly, which shook as though it had been bundled into a single mass.

“I call the flesh responsible for movement in the human body muscles. As for the excess flesh on your belly, I call that fat. Second Master need not know why I call it that; that old barefoot doctor taught me so. This method can train the muscles in your abdomen and consume the excess fat. You are still young. Once you pass thirty and begin to grow a belly, you will understand the boundless usefulness of this method.” Yun Hao wore a look of utter seriousness, while secretly glancing at Changsun.

“You’re small, but your mind is full of schemes. Married at eight to the famed beauty of Jinyang—you were never any good, were you?” Blushing with embarrassment and anger, Changsun pinched Yun Hao’s ear with her slender jade fingers, and she did so very hard. Yun Hao felt as though his ear no longer belonged to him.

The slender fingers swayed before Yun Hao’s eyes, and her cherry-red lips opened and closed. Yun Hao did not catch a word of what Changsun was saying. His ear was being twisted in her hand; it hurt like hell. I’m teaching your husband to improve the quality of your sex life, and the one who benefits isn’t even you? If you’ve got the nerve, let’s see if you’ll still be making those little sounds later...

“Enough. He’s only a child, after all.” In the end, Li Er could no longer bear to watch Changsun torment the boy. Having heard Yun Hao’s words, he had become even more interested in this method of training the body.

“Such a little child, yet he’s already full of rotten ideas. If he’s like this now, what will he be when he grows up?” Changsun jabbed Yun Hao on the head with one finger, then led a large retinue of attendants back to her own courtyard.

Clutching his aching ear, Yun Hao looked pitifully miserable, while Li Er beside him grinned with his white teeth showing. Even though he was a handsome child as delicate as jade and carved from snow, with one ear red and swollen like the famous monk’s, he looked quite ridiculous.

“You brat, you’ve got more romantic luck than most. At eight years old, you already plucked one of the flowers of Jinyang. Do you know, boy, that a whole pack of dandies was jealous to death? If I hadn’t put the word out, you would already have been dealt with.” Li Er sipped his tea as he spoke with an air of lazy confidence.

“Even if you helped me, the wager still has to be settled. You’re not trying to renege, are you?” Yun Hao looked at Li Er in puzzlement. Most men who became emperors were dark-hearted, ruthless, and thick-skinned masters of the craft. It had taken great effort to set a trap for Li Er to walk into; he could not let him slip away now.

“Heh. The moment you came into this courtyard, I knew you were up to no good. One hundred strings of cash isn’t much in your eyes. Go on, then. What do you want me to do? As long as it isn’t too outrageous, why not let you succeed once?” Li Er rubbed his heated belly and looked at Yun Hao.

As expected, the great and wise Li Er was not so easy to fool. So he had seen through it long ago; he had merely been cooperating with the act. Trying to treat someone else like a fool, only to discover that he himself had become the fool—Yun Hao felt somewhat depressed. Yet he soon let it go. If Li Er could not see through even this little trick of his, he probably would not live long enough to claim the throne.

“You’ve heard about the killing on the street a couple of days ago, haven’t you, Second Master?”

“You mean that ruffian called Rolling Earth Dragon? He belongs to Wang Wei, and Wang Wei has already made it known that he wants the man’s life. What about it? Do you know him?” At Yun Hao’s words, Li Er’s brows drew together.

Wang Wei and Gao Junya were the current sovereign’s trusted intimates, sent to Jinyang as deputy overseers. Their purpose was plain enough to even a fool. At present, relations between the Duke of Tang’s residence and the two deputy overseers were delicate, and Li Yuan had once warned Li Er not to provoke either of them if he could avoid it. The Li family needed to bide its time.

“I didn’t know him before. Now I suppose I do. Does Second Master think this matter should be left alone?”

“What kind of scheme are you cooking up? Spit it out and let me hear it.” Li Er waved his hand, and the attendants nearby all withdrew.

“I can hardly call it a scheme. I only want everyone in Jinyang to know that Jinyang belongs to the Duke of Tang’s rule, and not to Gao Junya or Wang Wei.” As Yun Hao said this, he glanced sidelong at Li Er.

“Go on. I’m listening.”

“Rolling Earth Dragon committed violence in the middle of the street, and thousands of eyes saw it. Second Master surely knows the whole affair. That thug relied on Wang Wei’s protection to commit all manner of evil in Jinyang. Now a righteous man has rid the people of a scourge, yet Wang Wei wants to take a life. If Wang Wei succeeds, how will the people of Jinyang view the Duke of Tang?

Besides, this happened right there in the street. There is no argument against it, either in law or in reason. All the Duke of Tang needs to do is handle the matter impartially, with no favoritism at all. Let the case be judged as it should be; with the law of the land in place, Wang Wei would not dare utter a single protest. And if he makes a scene, even if the case is carried all the way before the sovereign, the Duke of Tang will still win. If the Duke of Tang turns a blind eye to something that can so effectively curb the arrogance of his subordinates, that would truly be hard to justify!”

“Boy, what’s in it for you?” Li Er looked at Yun Hao in confusion. From what he knew of him, this was a fellow who would not rise for anything unless there was profit to be made.

“Second Master, all I want is a favor. In the future, Second Master will gain far more than that. Believe me. I’m not wrong.”

Li Er returned to his courtyard without saying a word. Changsun found his behavior strange, but she still had the planking exercise on her mind. Helping him sit down, she asked in a low voice, “Second Brother, should we practice that body-conditioning method again tonight?”